one might say we're banned from that church
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
