he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
