found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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