if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
