i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize