I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
