you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
