the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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