I wannas sexs uuuuu
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Randomize