Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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