I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
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I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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