so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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