There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
so much tequila, so little girl.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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