didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize