Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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