i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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