I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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