Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
