you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
