Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
