Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
