pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
