im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
