Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
