I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
