i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
