its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
