She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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