WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
