I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My pussy is not your playground.
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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