I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize