all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
