She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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