Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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