He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
