i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
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Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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