This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
