swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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