Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm like, not good at living.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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