fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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