in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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