I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
