Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
