It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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