ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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