I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
