I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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