You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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