I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
