People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
