i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
