dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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