dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
