I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
