I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
