My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize