Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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