Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
