Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
