Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
