Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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