I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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