what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
